I have birthed two daughters but if someone asked me how many daughters I love, I'd say six. The other four never lived inside my body but they are somehow mine, nonetheless. They're not mine in the way they belong to their actual mothers -- the ones who carried them and fed them, the ones who made household rules for them to follow and passed on their beautiful ... Read More
Three Resolutions for 2018 That Would Help Us All
I could tell you about my personal resolutions for 2018 but I won't. "Stop accidentally getting into cars that look like yours but are not yours" is probably not something everyone must work on. However, as I was thinking about ways I could improve my life, it occurred to me that a few of these ideas might be good for some of you. In this spirit, I present my list of ... Read More
Fatigue: The Glue that Binds Long-Marrieds
When our two daughters were infants, my husband and I participated heartily in the parental right of passage known as obsessing over baby poop. At the hospital, the doctor gave us a chart and told us to keep track of each bowel movement in order to make sure the baby was eating properly. We took this order and executed it with the grave seriousness of soldiers seizing ... Read More
Life Lessons: Take the Complicated Love
There is a softening that happens if you’ve been lucky enough to reach full adulthood with some innocence and hope intact. As you age, if your heart is still tender, you start to notice that life’s inevitable ups and downs don’t make you as mad as they used to. Perhaps you are just monumentally tired. You don’t feel like spewing hurt and anger every time you are trampled ... Read More
Stop Helping: Good Parenting Can Mean Holding Back
The day you have a baby is the most exhilarating, terrifying day of your life. Look what you made! This tiny ball of wonder is all yours! But, also, eeek! This tiny ball of need is all yours! If you don't feed the baby and change it and also hug the baby and protect it, your little miracle doesn't have a chance of surviving. So you give up sleep, hot food and inner peace ... Read More
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